Archive for the ‘peter's future wife’ Category

Hiiiiiii, baby. My proposal to you is going to be an all-timer. Your friends will smile through gritted, jealous teeth. Other dudes will hate me for raising the bar. It’ll be epic. EPIC. However… Then you’ll have to marry me. Ruh roh. I’ll first pitch my idea for a simple, Peter-in-jeans-and-tshirt, ceremony overlooking the water […]


Hiiiiiiiiii, you. I like snow. Sometimes. Lately it’s been reminding me of you. I can see it. Us standing side by side. The backs of our mittened-hands barely touching, but not holding. Yet. We stare out over the snow-decorated landscape. Bird tracks under a feeder. A cat’s paw prints showing where she waited nearby. Snow […]


Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, futurecutewife. There are a number of things I’m good at: 1) Getting rid of spiders. 2) Reaching things on high shelves. 3) Finding you music before it hits stores. (Don’t ask me about my business.) But there are a few things you won’t want me around for: 1) Grocery shopping. There may be others, […]


Hi. I mean it Anywhere you want. You think for a moment.  You playfully tap your chin with your finger, gazing off into the distance. You head west.  Without me. I quickly catch up.  You know, long legs and all. I mumble for you to take the inside, so I can be closer to hypothetical […]


Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. You’re pretty. So, Eff Double U, like all other celebrities, I require a team of people around me to help me look good and to get things done. But, in my case, it’s not a cadre of toadies, groupies, astrologers, shamans and freelance anal bleachers. No, no, no. For me it’s a group of […]


Hi hi, Future Wife. Let’s go for a walk. I’ll take you on a tour of my town. It’s a little overcast, but it won’t take very long. We’ll head down towards the harbour. I’ll gently guide you away from the road, and I’ll walk on the side nearest traffic. You’ll ask, “No sidewalks?” I’ll […]


Hi hi, future wife. I like to write stuff. And that might be the most obvious thing I’ve ever said. I think I’ve told you about how much I love to write long and silly e-mails. Well I have discovered that I also love to write hand-written letters. Old school, baby. Of course the downside […]


So, hi, future wife. Long time no type. Not sure why I haven’t written to you in a while. Maybe I’m a little irked that you haven’t replied yet. Or maybe it’s because of the economy. But here’s the thing: I miss you. I do. I was shooting the poop with (wonderful ex) Jen the […]


Hi, you. I’d like to have kids. You know, with you. I can almost see already how it will unfold. I think our first baby will be a boy. You’ll think that I’ll be thrilled with a son. And I will be. But I’ll also be a little secretly sad that it wasn’t a baby […]


There is still some debate, you know, over who is to blame for the blinds not fitting exactly perfectly in the bedroom window.  The company said I measured wrong.  I said that they cut it wrong. Most of the time I don’t care. But right now, with this golden stream of light sneaking around the […]



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