Stars Are Blazing Like Rebel Diamonds


Here’s the thing…

Men and women are different.

No, it’s true!

Some of it is just the way we are wired. Some of it is what we learn from our families and from society.

So, it should come as no surprise that there are a few things about women that I don’t understand.

Like, for example, what they think, feel, wear, eat, watch, buy and want.

(But, other than that, I have them pretty much figured out.)

Oh, sorry, there is one other thing about women that I don’t get…

Why are they so down on hookers?

I blame the puritanical hang-ups of our culture.

Because, let’s face it, hookers provide a valuable service. They are willing to do the things that you ladies are sometimes unwilling to do. You know, like things involving ping pong balls and a bottle of tobasco sauce.

Hypothetically speaking.

These women need to make a living. And maybe, just maybe, there is a solidarity — a sisterhood even — within the… clitterati.

Whores need love too.

Let me tell you a little story…

There was a young woman. She was gorgeous. A very pretty woman. A tall redhead.

She had a warm smile and an infectious laugh.

And she, dear friends, was a prostitute.

She didn’t enjoy it. But, she was a realist. She knew that there was no prince charming coming to take her away from all of that.

Until a prince charming appeared.

He was rich — something to do with buying companies, splitting them into pieces and selling them for a profit. He drove a super expensive car, although he had no idea how to handle a manual transmission.

And they connected.

That’s not to say that there weren’t some bumps in the road. His lawyer tried to rape her. The mean women in the shops of Rodeo Drive wouldn’t sell to her. (Thankfully a kindly hotel manager helped her with that.) Prince Charming let his hang-ups and commitment phobia cause him to treat her like a whore until he saw the error of his ways.

But, they got through it. They healed each other. And they found love.

And that woman was…

Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher.

True story.

So, folks, if you are on your way to dinner tonight and see a hooker on the sidewalk, please stop and think for a moment. Realize that she has likely been through a lot in her life. And then give her a hug.

But, don’t hold it too long or she’ll probably try to charge you for it.


6 Responses to “Stars Are Blazing Like Rebel Diamonds”

  1. 1 Eve

    It commodifies sex.

    Many prostitutes are doing it as a last resort.

    Exploitation. (See American Pimp.

    Hookers get treated like shit, and are a marginal population. Like one who gets raped and is told “she deserves it.” (See comments on the possibly true blog True or not, it brings up people’s thoughts on the subject.)


  2. 2 Peter

    Eve: You do realize that I wasn’t actually serious, right?

    (Except for the ping pong balls and tabasco sauce bit.)

  3. 3 Eve

    Oh, heh heh.

    And another thing: Pretty Woman was fiction. Nice try, Peter.

  4. 4 James Cooper

    Ever see the movie Rat Race? I liked the proposition Dave Thomas’ character made to the prostitute. Something involving a tub full of Pepto Bismol, back shaving, and toenail clipping. (shudder)

  5. 5 themikestand

    No, Maggie, no!

    Say it isn’t so.

    (And seriously? Pretty woman was fiction? Can we hope that it was at least “inspired by a true story”?)

  6. 6 Erika

    #1. Does this mean you don’t understand the culture phenom which is LaSenza?

    #2. On behalf of redheads everywhere, I take offense that the questionable redhead in, er… question was a redhead.

    #3. I find it hard to believe that Margaret Thatcher wouldn’t be opposed to pin pong balls, she already has a pair of balls.

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