I’ll poke you with a q-tip!

11Jul07

Voice in Peter’s Head: Hey.

Peter: You’re back?

Voice in Peter’s Head: Yep.

Peter: I was kind of enjoying the break.

Voice in Peter’s Head: I bet. But, apparently you lost your way a little, so…

Peter: The writing?

Voice in Peter’s Head: Noooo, your interpersonal relationships. Of course the writing. Dork.

Peter: I don’t know. I could use help with the interpersonal–

Voice in Peter’s Head: Yeah, save it, Nancy. So, you’re a bit stalled with the writing.

Peter: I wouldn’t say “stalled.” I’ve been coming up with lots of ideas.

Voice in Peter’s Head: Yeah, I’ve seen your desk. It looks like a paper and ink orgy. Why the loss in forward momentum?

Peter: I don’t know…

Voice in Peter’s Head: Tell me.

Peter: You’ll judge me.

Voice in Peter’s Head: Tell me or I’ll start singing that Akon song.

Peter: You wouldn’t.

Voice in Peter’s Head: Nobody wanna see us together. But, it don’t matter, no…

Peter: Okay, okay.

Voice in Peter’s Head: That was easy.

Peter: Prick.

Voice in Peter’s Head: Spill it.

Peter: Fine. I’ve been working on THE idea. You know the one?

Voice in Peter’s Head: I do.

Peter: And the ideas are flowing. Things are percolating.

Voice in Peter’s Head: Sheesh.

Peter: But, it feels like I am trying to force it to be something it isn’t.

Voice in Peter’s Head: I don’t even know what that means.

Peter: I am trying to write it as a novel, but it doesn’t feel right.

Voice in Peter’s Head: It doesn’t “feel” right?

Peter: No. It’s like… it is too wide open. Not enough rules, maybe.

Voice in Peter’s Head: Have you ever considered becoming a plumber? Good money in it.

Peter: I like having stricter rules and then trying to bend them a little. Most of my handwritten pages are basically in screenplay format, so I was thinking of turning it into a screenplay instead.

Voice in Peter’s Head: Screenplay, novel, dirty haiku, what the fuck do I care?

Peter: I liked the idea of writing a novel. It felt… cooler. Bigger. Something.

Voice in Peter’s Head: Never finishing the damn thing probably wouldn’t be all that “cool.”

Peter: You raise a good point.

Voice in Peter’s Head: I usually do.

Peter: Hey, did anyone ever tell you that you sound a bit like Luke Perry?

Voice in Peter’s Head: “It’s Dylan. You know the drill.”

Peter: Ha! Nice. Hey, remember the episode when those girls scammed Steve and Brandon and stole Steve’s car?

Voice in Peter’s Head: A classic.

Peter: Even after they were gone with the car, Steve still thought he had a shot with them.

Voice in Peter’s Head: That dude was hornier than a four-peckered goat.

Peter: Good times.

Voice in Peter’s Head: So, what IS with the writing lately? “Poetry?” Sissified imagery. What happened to the dude that could write 2500 hundred words on Archie comics or the Hardy Boys?

Peter: Uhm… I wrote a scene about genital herpes and Valtrex the other day.

Voice in Peter’s Head: Oh yeah? Funny?

Peter: Not bad.

Voice in Peter’s Head: Nice.

Peter: So, a screenplay it is? I’m exciting now.

Voice in Peter’s Head: Oh, me too. I can barely contain myself.

Peter: I better go wake up my muse.

Voice in Peter’s Head: I wouldn’t mention anything to her about how your writing “feels.” Makes you sound a little too… delightful.

Peter: Whatever, dude.

Voice in Peter’s Head: ‘Cause we gonna fight. Oh yes, we gonna fight. Believe we gonna fight.

Peter: I loathe you.

Voice in Peter’s Head: Hee hee hee.

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12 Responses to “I’ll poke you with a q-tip!”

  1. 1 sween

    Lucky!

    The voice in my head usually just sits there, doing bad impressions of Simpsons characters.

    Or sobbing.

  2. 2 Sara

    I hate that song. Now it will be in my head the rest of the day. Thanks.

  3. 3 Mood Indigo

    Oh ya, and rules-schmules.

  4. 4 Clink

    Aaaaand now the song is in my head too.

    You’re evil. (Also, funny. But mostly evil.)

  5. 5 Cait

    “Peter: So, a screenplay it is? I’m exciting now.”

    You’re getting way ahead of yourself there, Canadian.
    But I am “exciting” about this screenplay too.

  6. 6 Peter

    sween: Lucky! Does it do Prof. Frink?

    sara: Happy to help out!

    megan: You can’t be TOO surprised. :)

    clink: You knooooow, I take both of those as compliments.

    cait: Curses! Of course now I can just edit it and make you look silly.

  7. 7 Jay

    You had better call ahead to see if Howie Mandel is available to play you.

  8. 8 Airam

    HAHAHAHHAHHAH …. I love how you busted out the Akon song to annoy yourself!!!!

    And this is your writing … do what feels write with it.

  9. 9 sween

    Not so much with Prof. Frink. For some reason, it seems more focused on Fat Tony and Superintendent Chalmers.

  10. 10 Eve

    hahaha.

    Don’t force it. It’ll come!

  11. 11 The Stormin Mormon

    Damn it Peter, now that horrible song is stuck in my head.

    The voice in my head usually keeps asking me if that light that I just went through was green or red. (seriously, all day yesterday it was bugging me, because I couldn’t remember checking at this one light, just breezing right through, and they have those cameras now…)

  12. 12 Pearl

    Alright, you’ve bent me to your will. I’m bookmarking you.


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