I have a serious question…


What is the most embarrassing song that you can imagine to have playing in the background when you are caught masturbating?

Seriously. I want to know.

Friends, Romans, lurkers, feel free to weigh in.


32 Responses to “I have a serious question…”

  1. 1 Peter

    I should add that I am currently leaning towards “Yellow Polka Dot Bikini.”

    I don’t know why…

  2. 2 sween

    “Afternoon Delight”?

    “It’s Raining Men”?

    “Hava Nagila”??

  3. 3 non-Blondie

    “Every breath you take”?
    There are too many answers to this question.

  4. 4 littlespoon

    “Oh baby I like it Raw” ?


  5. 5 srah

    “Timothy” by the Buoys.

    Or maybe the Imperial March from Star Wars.

  6. 6 Katie

    “So Small” by Carrie Underwood…

    or, “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” Pat Benatar…

    The list really is endless…

  7. 7 Molly

    “Hit me baby one more time”?

    “I’m every woman”?

  8. 8 sween

    The theme from “Jaws”?

  9. 9 non-Blondie

    ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ – Mariah Carey. Festive fiddling.

  10. 10 Kathy

    Too many answers.

    “My Ding a Ling” by Chuck Berry?

  11. 11 srah

    Oh man, Jaws is an awesome answer.

  12. 12 CamiKaos

    I Touch Myself

  13. 13 Jenny

    “Can’t Touch This” by MC Hammer?

  14. 14 Susie

    I was totally thinking “Hit Me Baby One More Time” But anything Barry Manilow would also suffice.

  15. 15 each of the two

    a children’s song

    like a nursery rhyme or the ABC’s or something

  16. 16 Jenny

    Also, “This is the song that never ends” or whatever those puppets on Lambchop’s Play-Along sing.

    That kind of goes along with each of the two’s comment about kid’s songs. Just so, so inappropriate.

  17. 17 Clink

    I’m thinking it doesn’t get more cliche than “I Touch Myself.” And lord knows you don’t want to be cliche when masturbating.

  18. 18 Travelling Tippler

    Something romantic- like “Unchained Melody”

  19. 19 brandy

    “Do they know it’s Christmas” Any song that relates to Live Aid. Or you know… starving, impoverished people in third world countries.

  20. 20 allie

    I would have to say, anything sung by the Muppets or any other large group of animated/puppet characters.

    Well, either that or something sung by Donny Osmond.

    Your choice.

    ps – nice blog!

  21. 21 Kathy

    “Little Willie” by Sweet

  22. 22 Paige Jennifer

    How the fuck did y’all leave the entire Lionel Richie collection??? Walking in on a guy yanking to anything sung by that crooner would forever scar my brain.

  23. 23 kelsi

    i have to admit that the theme from jaws made me laugh out loud. that’s pretty fucking fantastic, and i absolutely can’t top it.

  24. 24 Ashley

    That Supermodel song by RuPaul?

    Anything by Michael Bolton.

  25. 25 Rachel

    For some reason all i can think off is “Santa Claus is Coming to Town!”

    Don’t ask why….

    but also Childrens songs and stuff like that! (refer to every childlike refrence above)

  26. 26 lfar

    The Finale to Les Mis.

  27. 27 BBC

    Why in the hell would I want to listen to music when I’m masturbating?

  28. 28 mr.ska

    “Bananaphone” by Raffi. Anything by Raffi, actually.

    Willoughby, walloby, we,
    You walked in on me,
    Willoughby, walloby, wonson,
    Yankin’ on my johnson.

    I’d better stop now…

  29. 29 toadely

    “I’m Turning Japanese”?

  30. 30 Keith

    Christmas Christmas by the Chipmunks.

    Father Figure by George Micheal.

    I’m every woman, Whitney Houston (if your a guy obviously).

  31. 31 brookem

    I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman. OR, I’ll Make Love to You/On Bended Knee.

  32. 32 Amber

    How about, “It’s Not Over” By Daughtry.

    “It’s not over. I’ll try to do it right this time around. This love is killing me, but you’re the only one…”


    I so amuse myself some days.

    And this question was too good to stay a lurker.

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