Things I learned from little twerps over the past week…


– When you ask The ACN “After spending all day stuck in the house because of the rain, are you sick of Unc?” you better be ready for whatever answer you get.

– When you are feeding The ACN a plate of crackers and cheese, and turn to watch the TV for too long, it is perfectly reasonable for her to hit the plate with her hand and send the food flying everywhere.  It is even more reasonable for her to giggle about it.  A lot.

– The ACN loves sending Unc back to The Unc Store when he doesn’t do what she wants.  Five times one day.  Though I’m beginning to suspect that the part she loves the most is that she can make me walk down the steps, out the back door, and then come back in using a fake voice and wearing my baseball cap backwards.  (If you ask “Was the old unc bad?”, you always get a “Yeah!!!”)


Last night, I heard a light knocking on my bedroom door at 9 pm.  (We never lock our houses around here.)  (Don’t rob me.)  The Monkey stuck her head in, “Ididn’tknowifyouwereawakeandnannysaidyouwereprobablysleeping
breanda’sisn’tworkingtooandIam goingtotheplaygroundand–”

“You can borrow mine,” I answered/interrupted.

So she did.

An hour and a half later, I saw her playing on her own lawn.  I went out to my driveway to sweetly request she return it.

“Hey, you little shit!  Bring my phone back.”

So she did.

And she had changed the wallpaper to a pic of her.  And changed the welcome message thingy to her name.


17 Responses to “Things I learned from little twerps over the past week…”

  1. 1 sid

    You don’t lock the doors to your houses??? You mean you don’t live in fear? Fear that someone will come into your house and kill you in your sleep?


    My neighbour, the one who lives opposite, me was hijacked in FRONT of his house. The one who lives two doors away from us was held up by armed gunmen ….

    There certainly isn’t a lack of excitement in Cape Town.

  2. This post just clearly shows why I like these two more than I like you.

    But you already know this.

  3. 5 Ben

    Lock your house in CB? BLASPHEMY!

  4. I’m so sneaking into your house.

  5. 9 Lys

    my little sister used to do this all the time back before she had her own phone. it was always a picture of her and her name at the top of the screen.

  6. 11 Kara

    What happens when you have a lady friend over? Please tell me you lock the door then.

  7. On our farm in South Dakota, we never locked the door either. But I don’t think I could go back to that after reading “In Cold Blood.”

    Otherwise, nothing witty to say here, just that I love the ACN/Monkey stories; they make me smile.

  8. I had some other comment to make, but sid just made me nervous about you and your unlocked doors…

    And about the Monkey frolicking about at the playground until all hours of the night… Good thing she had your phone!

    If she got stolen, you’d definitely have to go back to the Unc/Cousin store.

  9. 15 shine

    I even lock my door when I’m going out to get the mail. Big city livin’ is dangerous.

  10. 16 BS

    Did she change HER name in your phone to something cheeky too?

  11. 17 accidentallygraceful

    So how often does the ACN watch “The Replacements?”

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