me again, future wife


Hi, you.

Two in one week.  Feast or famine with me, baby.  (There were originally three typos in those two sentences.  I’m an overachiever.)

I’m still not a big fan of sending out all of this stuff and not hearing back from you.  Though being ignored might actually be good training for marriage, so…

Here’s the thing, FW…

You know me.  I’d dope on the floor and I’m magic on the mic.

But I also like to talk about writing.

A lot.


And I mostly like to talk about MY writing.

I find me endlessly fascinating.

Not really.

Well… a little.

So it would be good if you are a writer.  Or a reader.  Or, you know, adore me and are willing to humour me.  It would also be great if you rocked a kickass ponytail, but that has little to do with this.

On the plus side, I’ll write things about you.  And for you.  Anytime you want.  Anything you want.  You know, if you like that type of thing.

If you don’t…

Then I’m probably just a piece of meat to you.

And I am NOT going to put up with that.

For more than 2 or 3 years.

So I started a new writing project.  I am turning my novella into a screenplay.

I know, I know.  I was originally going to write it as a screenplay.  But, really, I went with a novella just so I could tell people that I wrote a book.  Mostly girl people.


Maybe I thought you would be one of those girl people.

Don’t roll your eyes at me.

That shit’s not gonna fly when we get hitched.


I’ll find it charming.

I hate you.


I don’t.

Yeah.  A screenplay.  I love love love writing dialogue.  And screenplays have always been the format that feels most natural to me.  Half a page into this one, I was smiling like a fool and wanting to hug Final Draft a little.

I can’t believe that I had forgotten how much I loved it.  I gotta say, I’m pretty excited about this, Future Wife.  I’ll let you read it when it’s done.

Playing with the beginning of a word doodle:

not all
dangerous curves
come with
a warning sign
especially if
your eyes
are closed

Not sure how I feel about it yet.

So, you go back to being all elusive, and I’ll go back to trying to decide which I prefer between The Stones’ “Gimme Shelter” and Dylan’s “Shelter From The Storm.”

Rock on.



19 Responses to “me again, future wife”

  1. You write a KICKASS screenplay, sir. I’m a huge fan of this idea.

  2. I wish I had even the tiniest idea of how to write a screenplay.

    Actually. No I don’t. It’d just end up being yet another project I started but never finished.

    Because I’m really good that way.

    • For me these big projects come down to:

      1) Having a big enough ego to think that I can write ANY-MOTHERFUCKING-THING!

      2) Being naive enough to not realize just how much work is actually involved.

      3) Just putting my head down and writing until it’s done.

  3. Ha! As we know, I’m not your future wife… Because you sound too much like me. Except… what, marry a writer? Not me! ;)

  4. Shelter from the Storm driving in the cold weather, feeling crappy, or going home for the holidays. or a summer evening.

    Gimme Shelter driving in the hot sticky crazy summer heat after you’re done with work for the day. with the windows open.

  5. 9 Sid

    How do you rock a ponytail? I mean, is there a wrong way to wear your hair in a pony?

  6. 1. I rock a great f-ing ponytail.
    2. I wrote about the Stones today, so obviously go with Gimme Shelter.

  7. “I was originally going to write it as a screenplay. But, really, I went with a novella just so I could tell people that I wrote a book. Mostly girl people.”

    Do you plan on exclusively wearing corduroy jackets and turtlenecks while doing so? Because that may be what seals the deal for some. Just an FYI.

  8. 13 Katie

    Like I’ve said before…Your screenplay is nothing without LA. I didn’t mean that! But it would inspire you even further. And it’s full of cute wifeys with good ponytails!

  9. Gimme Shelter. Also especially fun to play on Rock Band.

    And oddly enough I am rocking the shit out of a ponytail today. I’m not normally a ponytail wearing lady (my hair is usually awesome all long and down) but today, today I wear the ponytail.

  10. Rocking the ponytail is hard. I do it quite well, especially since guys end up coming closer to move the hair away from the back of my neck to see my tattoo. It’s a great attraction when there’s something a little bit hidden and secret.

    Also, this time of year, I would go with Shelter From the Storm.

  11. 16 Annalise

    You can’t really compare the two, IMO.

  12. when i finished your novella the first thing i said to my friends was what a good screenplay it would make.

    good luck my friend! xo

  13. Finally. And I can’t rock a ponytail worth shit. But I’m sure I have many other lovely qualities. LIKE WAITING AROUND FOREVER FOR YOU TO DECIDE TO WRITE A SCREENPLAY.

  14. Are you writing these letters just to make me jealous of your future wife?

    Because it’s working.

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