i want to hear, future wife


Hi hi.

Did you like your word doodle the other day?

Last night I was watching an episode of Nigella Bites… because my remote batteries crapped out while I was trying to find a Bare Knuckle Boxing and Spitting For Distance tournament?

Anyway, while I was snuggling up inside of her voice, I wondered what you might sound like.

I guess your accent will depend on which mail order bride company has the best deal that month.

But, really, what will your voice sound like?

I expect you’ll have one of those voices that gets super enthusiastic and loud about things. Like I’ll be able to tell what your facial expression is just from hearing you, you know? I’ll be able to hear your eyes getting wider with excitement.

I love that.

And when your voice gets soft and little, I’ll know you need me.

I want to hear how you say my name… in various instances. I want to be able to tell that it is your favourite thing to say. And that it spills out over your lovely lips so damn naturally because you’ve been annoying your friends by saying it to them all the time.

I want to know for sure, what I suspect, that when you say certain, amazing things to me, it’ll make me crush so hard that I’ll have to regain my composure before asking you to say them again.

I want you to say those things in a whisper. At first.

I want to hear you sing. And maybe you suck at it. Though I’d never, ever admit it. I just want the urge to sing to be so strong that you don’t really care what you sound like. In the shower. In the car. In Target.

And I want to hear you laugh. I know it will be the kind of laugh that explodes from you, and ensures that on the off chance that any eyes in the room weren’t already on you, they are now.

A couple of people have mentioned to me that I should have something of a Future Wife Competition on this blog. Like a reality show type deal. I even had some ideas about a few different “contests” that could probably be very amusing.

But I feel like you’re the type of woman who would laugh and say, in an absolutely charming way, with a smile that sucks me so completely in…

“I don’t compete, Peter. I get.”

I really want to hear that.



51 Responses to “i want to hear, future wife”

  1. 1 Lauren

    I like this one.

  2. 3 A

    “I don’t compete, Peter. I get.”

    She’s choreographing her scoring celebration ’cause she already knows the puck is going in. Admirable awesomeness.

  3. Sigh. I like her.

  4. Do you ever worry that you’ll start dating someone and she’ll read these and think, ‘damn, my laugh sounds unpleasantly like an intoxicated rhinoceros. Oh well, guess Peter and I aren’t meant to be.’ ?

    • Naw. I figure FW will take more of a “anything that doesn’t sound like me was just you not knowing any better yet” attitude.

  5. FW sounds quite amazing. Frankly, I want you to meet her already so you can live happily ever after.

    And I totally agree with FW, one doesn’t compete.

  6. 13 Wendryn

    I really like these – they invariably make me smile. I like that you are just talking, not trying to be someone you aren’t, trying to prove that you are good enough for this person you have created. It’s an interesting mental exercise.

    She seems like an interesting person, and I agree with jenniferalaine – I like her, too.

  7. 19 Wendryn

    Why not? :P I have been lurking for a while and had time to write today. It isn’t like I’m being mean or troll-ish, at least! And I’m responding to the tone of your writing, which, unless I’m completely mistaken, allows for a little bit of poking fun. If I’m wrong, I’ll try not to argue in the future. Can’t promise, though. :D I’ve always been just the tiniest bit opinionated.

  8. Is it weird that I sort of want to date your future wife? Wait, don’t answer that.

  9. I just found you through Alexa’s blog, so Hi! I’m new here. FW sounds so lovely. Can’t wait to meet her ;)

  10. Does Nigella still do the show in her dressing gown? My dad once told me he only ever watched the show in case her dressing down fell open! Ugh!

  11. I wrote one too :)

  12. I kind of have a crush on you. In a blogging kind of way. :)

  13. I don’t know if I’m more excited to meet someone that “gets it” like this one day or for you to meet the FW. I do know that these letters are beautiful and they make me remember the excitement of it all. Or feel we all need to just high tail it to Canada. Great post Peter.

  14. These letters seriously make me want to find you that girl… That’s weird, right?

    In other news, my boyfriend says that he can tell my expression just by how I talk. Then again, I’m nearly always happy so that’s probably easy for him.

  15. Well now I want to hear what she sounds like too.

  16. Clearly you know how I feel about this post.

  17. FW sounds adorable, Peter. But even more adorable is this “paper trail” you’re leaving her so she might find you. I love the letters, and I’m sure one day FW will, too. You’re a very talented writer. Loved your addition to the STOG as well!

    • “Paper trail.” I like that.

      With my luck she’s reading Perez Hilton and not here.

      Come to think of it, reading Perez Hilton may be a deal breaker.

  18. This was quite possibly the sweetest thing I’ve ever read in my entire life. Mostly because that’s exactly the way that I imagine my husband feeling about me. I mean, I cried. Seriously.

  19. When I reached the part about singing, especially in Target, I was hooked.

    Marry me?

    • Maybe.

      Do you read Perez Hilton?

      • Absolutely not. Following the lives of the rich, famous, and otherwise unfortunate rather than living my own life has always seemed ridiculous.

        I realize this might take me out of the running, but I wouldn’t want love’s foundation to be built on a lie.

  20. You need to find this girl already! She sounds pretty awesome. I’d be friends with her.

  21. Crying.

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