Archive for the ‘The Monkey’ Category

Peter: Are you Uncle Pete’s girl this visit? ACN: *shakes her head no* Peter: Are you [grand mother]’s girl? ACN: Yeeeaaah. Peter: Nooooo. ACN: *giggles* Peter: Are you mad because I missed talking to you a couple of nights last week? ACN: Yeah!  *giggles* Peter: But I called you every night, you were just running […]

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. You’re pretty. So, Eff Double U, like all other celebrities, I require a team of people around me to help me look good and to get things done. But, in my case, it’s not a cadre of toadies, groupies, astrologers, shamans and freelance anal bleachers. No, no, no. For me it’s a group of […]

The ACN has a new ‘do. It is shorter, with bangs AND a couple of pink streaks. (Can’t really see pink streaks.) She is some tattoos away from looking like a roller derby girl. Or a decorator on Ace of Cakes. It looks ADORABLE. ********** Two things that I learned this weekend really make the […]

Well hiiiiii there, Future Wife. I like your hair today. But I really do have something to tell you. And it is not that I was coerced into listening to a bunch of Taylor Swift songs last night and, you know, she’s not bad. (After some debate, I have decided that “Our Song” is my […]



Once again, it is… The Best Day of the Year! I can’t believe that little twerp is 9 already.

The Monkey was asked why she didn’t get a school picture this year. “Got it taken. Didn’t like it. Grrrrrrr. The guy was really pissing me off. ‘You have a weird part.’ Why the hell are you looking at my hair? Take the picture and get it over with.”

The Monkey’s party is going on right now. I did a pretty good job, I think, as ‘intimidating doorman with guest list.’ I decided not to shave today, so that I’d look even burlier. Yes… that’s the reason. Oh, I found out another way the twerp was spoiled… She had her grandfather tole paint light […]