Archive for November, 2008
you know
You shouldn’t have had to read the eulogy that I wrote for you for your Mom. Not at eleven years old. You shouldn’t have to hug adult relatives and say, “It’s OK. We’ll get through this together.” You don’t have to try to be brave for the rest of us. You don’t have to be […]
Filed under: Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
I’m sitting on a pigeon crap-encrusted bench with THAT friend. The one you only see once every few years. You know, the one that arrives like a tornado. I’m outside a Subway at 5:17 am. I’m muttering “I said no fucking onions.” 90% of the digits needed to call the girl who was selling Jell-O […]
Filed under: why I don't review shit | 7 Comments
I brings the ruckus to the ladies. (Wait. That’s not it.) If you know anything about me, you know that yesterday was my birthday. (There it is.) And I want to thank everyone for the birthday calls, texts, smoke signals, e-mails, she-males, telegraphs, Facebook wall posts/messages/gifts, crudely drawn nude self-portraits, and new socks. I meant […]
Filed under: ruckus bringing | 13 Comments
Random PeterFact #1472
If I ever popped my collar, even accidentally while putting on a shirt, I would slap the living shit out of myself.
Filed under: Uncategorized | 3 Comments
things you don’t want to hear
The Monkey just looked me up and down and with a smile said, “You know, I totally almost wore the same jeans today.”
Filed under: The Monkey | 12 Comments
The General
I feel like my blog has morphed into nothing but Word Doodles and a few mentions of my novella. (If you buy it, I’ll stop bringing it up.*) So, I thought that I might talk about something different… I am not sure of all of the details, but last night was filled with some very […]
Filed under: rambling | 9 Comments
Did you say just “oopsie?” I did. Very manly. I don’t give a fuck. How manly is that? Fine. … Apologize? Me? Yeah? For? Being rude. No. No? No. Hmm. Any other questions? You don’t feel bad? For? Speaking to me like that. Oh. So? Still no. You’re an ass. I wasn’t. When? Before you. […]
Filed under: word doodles | 4 Comments
You’ve always loved the lighting in your bathroom. It never seems to judge when showing you the flaws to be covered. It graciously helps with the easy blending of focus group-named colours. Tonight you’ve decided to employ Victoria’s most gravity-defying of secret. Tonight is important. You are going to show and tell him that you […]
Filed under: I swear that I write things other than, word doodles | 5 Comments
answer the question
Do you ever want to just embrace being happy? forget cynicism exists? enjoy being uncool? be silly and loopy? turn the music up? louder? ball your pants up and throw them? only eat the middles of your Pop-Tarts? pull their lower lip down with your thumb and forefinger? ask the homeless guy “Why?” tell people […]
Filed under: word doodles | 22 Comments
I know how it is…
It’s Friday. You are not feeling at all motivated to do any work. You are slightly hungover, but trying to hide it. You are wearing the same clothes as last night. You can’t tell if you have both contacts in. You are resisting the urge to put your head down on the desk. Just for […]
Filed under: novella | 9 Comments
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